Love and forgiveness!

If you’re reading this, then it’s likely that my interview on the Understanding God summit brought you here, and I am so thankful for your viewership!
If we can all be honest with ourselves for a sec, we’d realize that striking a balance between letting go and still showing love to those that often does us wrong is HARD WORK!  It’s difficult because so much of it involves us being the bigger person when our emotions are crying out for us to be petty and aggressive towards our wrongdoers.
Because I am so thankful to you guys for tuning in to our interview on the Understanding God summit, I wanted to give you all something practical to use for wherever you our on your journey to Love and Forgiveness. Let’s dive into the next 5 points.

• Understand What Forgiveness Is

So simple right? However you will be shocked to know that our interpretation of what forgiveness “should” be is usually far from the truth.
Forgiveness is often not the ideal scenario that you’d like to experience. It’s usually absent of apologies from others and may only be something you decide to partake in—that’s ok. When we get hurt, we form a bond with the offender and the offense. Forgiveness is the process of cutting the link created by harm, thus setting us free. It’s for you, not them.
 

• Forgiveness is a choice

Remember that forgiveness is not about the feeling we all low key look for when reaching out to start the forgiveness process.  There won’t ever be a time when you’ll fully “feel” like you want to do this.  Don’t mistake this as a sign from God that it’s not yet the time.  Instead look at the discomfort as a growing process that God needs you to go through so that you can grow beyond hurt and become bigger than your situation.
 

• No one feels your grudge but you

Read that again because this is the cold hard truth. When we allow past hurt to consume us because we don’t act with haste in forgiving, we may end up giving strong emotions, such as anger, sadness and depression, unprecedented access to our lives.  This is how grudges develop. However, grudges are exclusive to you and you alone.  Do not allow your pain to convince you that it is better to hold on to hurt than to let go. It’s one fight you won’t win.
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• A lack of forgiveness will cause us to compound our own hurt.

Contrary to popular belief, our grudges may justify the offender (could you imagine?). At that point, the offender has a triple win:

1. we get hurt by the initial harm,
2. then by our grudges
3. and then lastly by our guilt and shame which is topped with the justification by the wrong-doer.

Forgiveness protects us from getting hurt over and over again, from becoming an aggressor, and from the justification of the initial harm.
 

• Loving people that have done you wrong is a reflection of wholeness in Christ

When we are whole people that love and follow and pursue a relationship with Christ, we are essentially connected to an unlimited source of Love though this carnal body may struggle processing that at times. It is this reality that allows us to truly heal and to love again.  Sometimes you will be misunderstood for this because people have become downtrodden in a vicious cycle of loving and investing in others without respecting personal boundaries and limitations.
The ability to forgive can be seen as a reflection of our relationship with Christ.  The more we learn to seek him, the more we become enabled to love and even forgive those who have done wrong against us. However, it should be noted that love doesn’t always look the same. Sometimes we must go through the hard process of loving at a distance (if necessary) to keep our souls right with God. But be patient with yourself. Life has a lot of opportunities for us to grow here!