Many people will agree that a lot of their personal relationships are 50% parenting and 50% of actually being in a relationship.
This is because many people go into relationships still thinking like a single person would. But why wouldn't they right? Their whole life has been revolving around them, some family and a few friends--why should that change for you? But if people were honest, they'd admit that they move too quickly into things before the foundation and expectations were properly set for the relationship. We only realize how much we've neglected to do so until our problems show their ugly faces in dramatic fashion...
But before we get to talking about our expectations for them, we have to know the expectations we have for ourselves. To develop a committed minded mentality, you have to know why this relationship is important to you.
Is it because you value this person and what they bring to the table? Or is this relationship fulfilling some convenient desire of yours?
Nothing sucks more than having to tell or remind someone that they're in a relationship with you--especially when it was their choice to be with you. that's because it's undeniable when someone truly wants to be in a relationship.
They will make time for you in their busy schedules. They will show an interest in things that are mutually beneficial. They will also respect the relationship with or without you being present.
But this is not the case when you're dealing with someone that still has a single minded mentality...
People that go into relationships with a single minded mentality will often fight you to the death for their selfish desires. They will always back burn you for family and friends while expecting you to understand fully.
They will constantly tell you that you aren't understanding of "how they are", when in truth, who they are being is a direct obstacle to the relationship success THEY say THEY want.
When a person possesses a committed minded mentality, these issues become non-existent for the simple fact that they became someone they weren't previously.
And so that's the bottom line. To be successful in a personal relationship, you have to grow into a new person. Yes, change may sometimes mean cutting off a few people that aren't contributing to your goals, but how bad do you want your relationship?
Yes, change may have to mean setting stronger boundaries with your friends and family, but how bad do you want your relationship?
Yes, change may also have to mean answering to someone else--and that's a new concept--but how bad do you really want your relationship?
If you want it bad enough, growth is essential in achieving that goal.