The stories you are about to read are real. Details have been changed to protect the identities of the couples and individuals that you will read about shortly. That being said, I want you to read them as they are some of the most common situations I encounter in my practice on a daily basis.
If any of these stories resonate with you and your partner, please reach out to me. I want to help you reach your relationship goals. |
My lovely wife and I
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DAVID & CARLA*David, 37 and Carla, 36 have been married for 7 years. They claim that they don’t have big issues but they have a plethora of smaller issues that blow up into bigger ones, which always creates a rift between them.
For example, David hates how Carla does everything by the book and thinks she needs to relax more. Carla hates David’s laid back attitude about everything and thinks he needs to get serious about life. They have tried to stop overreacting by ignoring the small things; however, their tolerance for these smaller things is fading and wearing heavily on both of them as the years go on. David and Carla have both claimed that they tend to bring up past issues and even go as far as to keep a tally on who does what wrong for the sake of winning arguments. What David and Carla are experiencing is non-acceptance and right understanding issues. Instead of respecting each other’s differences, they try to change the each other which makes both of them highly defensive. They also have to learn how to see the benefit of a different perspective as a positive instead of a negative. Sound familiar? I can help |
BEN & SHEENA*Sheena, age 31, is a successful banker and is a very ambitious woman. Her career has taken off with numerous promotions that have afforded her a comfortable life.
Like most women that are very successful, Sheena often struggles in her relationship. Whether it’s finding the right one or keeping the one she has. Sheena’s relationship résumé has been lackluster to say the least and is completely stumped as to why? Sheena knows herself to be deeply emotional and passionate about love, but it seems like the more she tries to do for her spouse and the relationship the more she pushes men away. Ben, age 32, is a successful real estate agent that has been performing exceptionally well in recent years. He often complains that his girlfriend, Sheena, doesn’t seem to respect his opinion on things pertaining to the relationship. He says this lack of respect has caused him to pull away emotionally from the relationship. Both Sheena and Ben are caught in a common relationship cycle where she generally wants more “love” and he wants more “respect”. They’ve tried multiple times to heal this relationship by doing more things together, but they seem to be drifting further apart. Together, they need to learn that men and women have different primary needs and it will always be harder to get something from someone until we do for them first. Sound familiar? I can help |
CHRIS*Chris, age 31, would be considered by most to be a decent “catch”. He is quiet, independent, is holding down a steady job and has no kids. However, Chris struggles with communicating effectively. Like many men, Chris struggles being vulnerable because of his experiences growing up with his parents.
He was often told that “real” men aren’t supposed to be emotional and that he had to muscle through his emotions because “life goes on”. This in turn made it difficult for Chris to identify his feelings accurately and has made it hard for his girlfriend to figure him out when he is in a relationship. Chris has also developed an aversion for confrontation because of his struggle with opening up to others. Because he doesn’t identify his feelings as rational, he would rather avoid putting his “stress” on other people. Can Chris change his dysfunctional pattern of thinking, or is he destined for living a subpar life? He can once he begins to treat his feelings as valid. Sound familiar? |
Jennifer*Jennifer, age 29, is a young woman studying business on the university level. She has a warm personality and loves helping people but has an issue with trust.
In recent years, Jennifer has endured several bad breakups as a result of being cheated on and finds it difficult to control her anxious thoughts that the same thing is bound to happen again. Jennifer doesn’t realize that this fear is causing her to become increasingly negative about the relationship and has even caused her to become controlling. She knows that her controlling ways offends her partner, but she can’t seem to be content with giving him an inch of personal autonomy without fear. She finds herself texting and calling her boyfriend a lot throughout the day just to “check-up” on him, but he is beginning to develop resentment toward Jennifer for treating him like a child. Jennifer is self-sabotaging because of her fear that the past determines her future, but she has to begin letting go of those negative thoughts and practicing forgiveness for holding onto them for so long. Jennifer’s success in changing is directly related to her ability to forgive. Sound familiar? I can help |
Andrew*Andrew, age 22, is a very loving young man, but has been struggling with boundaries since he was a teenager. He always found himself aiming to please others which sometimes happened at his own expense.
Like a lot of people, Andrew felt that having a different opinion or simply telling people no meant that he might be seen as unkind or insensitive. As a result of this, Andrew always ends up doing things for his family, his friends, his coworkers and even strangers that he doesn’t really enjoy doing. Andrew has developed a negative habit of putting himself last and this can be linked to his childhood experiences with his mother. When he was young, Andrew was closer to his mother than his father and always took note of how his mother aimed to please his father regardless of the task. He learned that it was more important to do for others than for yourself, especially if you are able to help. Andrew has to begin recognizing that his feelings have equal value to those around him and that it is his duty to honor those feelings otherwise he will always end up hating himself for something he knows is his responsibility. Sound familiar? I can help |